How to tackle your fear

Sprint as fast as you can. Don’t think, just do. Get low, get dirty, get angry and get motivated.

So many people that I get to know eventually find out that I did a marathon. The response that I always hear in some form is “oh my god, I can’t believe you did one!! I have always wanted to do one but I can’t.”

I am telling you that you can. If you look in the record books, there is a guy who was 400+ pounds that did in over eight hours.

Here are the steps:

Challenge yourself
Sign up
Pay for it
Show up
Never give up
Then don’t stop talking about it after you completed your goal because it was ONE of the best moments in your life.

Don’t fear the fear. If you want that job promotion or a new girlfriend or a house of your dreams. Go after it, don’t defeat yourself before it happens and keep trying.

Talent isn’t everything, it is your heart and effort that is.

Tackle that fear,

Bryan

Mental Toughness, Motivation and Day 5 of eating CLEAN

My parent's pantry!

It is day five of eating clean. What a roller coaster ride! I can’t believe how hard it has been! The funny thing is all I had to do was eliminate sugars – which I found to be really hard by the way since I love my coffee with about four sugar packets and a quarter cup of cream in the morning. I had to eliminate Peanut butter as well, whelp! This guy here eats about a jar a week. It has been a key ingredient of my diet for my whole life, I believe in the sixth grade I was up to three peanut butter and jelly sandwiches a day; Thanks Mom! I also had to eliminate Alcohol, and grains from my diet as well. While my diet has been tough, I am already noticing the difference. I have dropped about three pounds and I am starting to notice that my love handles are starting to shrink. I really didn’t want to post that but I made it a goal to be more truthful this year. What I am noticing during this key five day period that this diet has been a case of mental toughness and boy, have I grown from the past year and half with my mental toughness due to my weight loss, Spartan races, marathons and doing CrossFit. I absolutely love food – I was taught to eat everything off of my plate for dinner before I could do anything and if I didn’t, I got a scolding from Dad and occasionally my lovely crazy grandmother. It was tough growing up from a family where food is certainly a way of expressing love and on top of that, food was not to be wasted! On top of that I dated an Italian girl for about seven years and yes we ate a lot of pasta, so not having it right now on top of exercising almost twice a day has been hard! I also think I have a relationship with food, I think I can acknowledge that and I think a lot of other people who are heavier can attest to that as well!

So back to mental toughness and motivation. It is key that I have a goal and that goal is eating clean for thirty days which will clean my system out of all of the garbage that I have been eating. The motivation that I have is my body is going to look and feel better after the thirty days – hopefully! The diet is based on getting rid of inflammation which in my case, I have a lot of that around my stomach area! Ha-Ha So in terms of mental toughness, when I am coming against forces like my family wanting to order pizza last night because that’s what we do on Friday nights, I suggested to my mom that I have to eat clean and to please let me take her fifty dollars that she would have to spend on pizza and let me cook something healthy! She said yes!  Especially since she doesn’t have to cook which after cooking for five boys for the past twenty years, you can see why! I also saved her about thirty bucks since dinner was around 29 dollars, another plus! On my first day, I turned down a beer from a good friend after helping them with their water heater and if you know me, I NEVER turn down a good beer.

The biggest animal is not eating clean for thirty days but it is fighting yourself, your mind against the temptations that exist. It is easy to say oh well, I can have this, it is just one but what you are really doing is defeating yourself, before you know it, you will be saying well I already had one, what’s one more going to hurt and before you know it, you ate a whole box of cookies or a whole jar of peanut butter! I came home to my parent’s house this weekend due to a business meeting out in West Chester and there was my favorite cake on the table called a babka (a sweet yeast cake) and there are cookies still left over from Christmas! I have yet to touch them and I don’t plan on it. It will be much safer when I get to my bachelor pad that has barely any food in it but for now, I credit CrossFit and all of the races that I have done for improving my mental fitness. Without my mental fitness improving race after race or workout after workout, I wouldn’t be this good right now. Mental fitness is hard to come by and I have taken a lot of hits along the way.  I gave up playing college baseball way too early because I didn’t feel appreciated. I blew up on my diet after college because I was focused on taking care of someone else besides me. It is easy to say yes to the desert placed on your table at family dinners. It is easy to say yes to a beer with a friend because of the instant gratification that happens because of it. Our society is certainly struggling with that concept today with statistics that show more than half of Americans are obese and more than half of marriages end up in divorce. Say yes to something that is hard andit will change your life in the LONG run.

If I were an employer, I would immediately hire me or anybody else that has done races or does CrossFit because it takes an incredible amount of mental strength to complete those and trust me, you want someone that is not going to give up before the work even starts. We live in a world full of anxiety where people are scared to take chances before even taking the first step. Once you beat the negative voice that is talking in your head, everything else suddenly becomes easy! Tell your mind that you are going to accomplish something and the rest will follow. It is important to have goals because having goals will encourage you to stay motivated. Have rewards as well! I am hoping to look better than ever after this thirty days and hopefully if I do, I can implement it into my lifestyle and then have occasional cheat days to treat myself.

Take necessary actions to build up your mental toughness, it will make you stronger as individual and it will attract others around you that are the same which will enable you to be better off for it.  Once you achieve something relatively small, then all of sudden, a domino effect of more positive things keep happening in your life.

Work on your mental toughness by achieving one goal today. Tomorrow, when you wake up work on achieving another goal before the end of the day. Make it a habit.

Well time for me to do my workout of the day, I am going to run a mile as fast as I can which I am aiming for under seven minutes. Not bad for a guy who could barely finish one a year and a half ago.

Have a great weekend and look for my next blog post next weekend where I am going to write about being out of my comfort zone at my first CrossFit competition!

Until next time,

BA

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Why I am celebrating today and why the small stuff matters

Today I was scared shitless, today I was scared of failing, I was scared of breaking my neck and yes I was scared of making an ass out of myself.

But today I accomplished something that I NEVER repeat NEVER thought I could do and it was the most amazing feeling ever.

All of my life I have been the BIG guy and could never do anything close to gymnastics, I even got a B in gym for 6th grade for a quarter because I couldn’t climb a rope or do a handstand or do a simple pull-up. I was the best athlete in games in that class but I had earn that B and I was mortified. But today after my workout of the day which I crushed Elizabeth today with a 6:22 at CrossFit York, my trainer Madeline was helping a new friend of mine Carol with her Handstand Push-up and I simply walked over there today with a mindset that today is the day I am going to do something that I couldn’t do in 6th grade. It was also something i never tried again for fear of being embarrassed. I was motivated and scared at the same time which I am coming to find is the best feeling of all now.

After four attempts, I was able to stand on the wall and after a couple others I was able to do a push-up. I never felt so accomplished in my life after that moment. I had slayed the dragon. So in ending my thoughts today, find something that you want to do but scares you immensley and try it anyways. What is the worst that can happened?

The most important thing I can share with you today is to get of all of the negative thoughts in your head right now, I mean why give up before even trying? If it scares you, it is probably worth trying. You never know what you are going to get.

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Why everyone needs an asshole of a best friend (A humorous approach to Motivation)

Everybody needs an asshole of a best friend that dissects you and then tells it to your face to the point where you want to punch them in their mouth.

It just so happens that I have that best friend, he is 6’7, I should add an inch or two because of his bright carrot top jewfro hair of his but I will play nice this time, he is one of New York’s finest police officers, loves beers and could use some work on his dancing skills –he should never let a deaf guy beat him in a dance-off at a wedding. True story

To this day, we have been best friends for 7 years and 9 months, I would say it was 8 but that kid hated my guts the first semester of college, I still have no idea WHY we are best friends but I can’t thank him enough for being in my life. Here’s why.

My girlfriend of six years broke up with me and I am driving to this kid house which is four hours away to basically spend the weekend drowning myself in beer with him, he tells me no wonder she broke up with you, you are FAT, you are a pathological liar (I have a problem with exaggerating) you have no savings, you have a business that is a failure and you like the wrong kind of internet (insert your own words here, trying to keep it PG-13 here)

Oh, he also told me that I would NEVER be able to date an attractive girl who didn’t have a hearing loss. He also wrote my match.com profile and made sure to tell everyone that yes I was hard of hearing which I was mortified of course. I think he was telling me I needed to step up my game or he was talking to himself trying to figure out why I am friends with this kid.

Since that conversation which was probably the best conversation I have had or ridiculing I should call it, I have been on an absolute rampage. I have lost over fifty pounds, built up some savings, getting used to telling people the truth while trying to stop making myself sound better all of the time to impress people. Sometimes, I NEED to sit back to realize that I am doing pretty well for myself and the people who are not impressed probably shouldn’t be in your life anyways. I am back on the dating scene and it has been very good to know that there are some great girls out there. I started this blog and I am finding new ways to push up my business, I have come to the realization that building a book of business takes time as people don’t trust you overnight anymore. I have come to find that the network I have is very willing to help me.

To this day, I am still trying to figure out why I am that personality type that if people can’t tell me to do something, I automatically try to disprove them. Motivation is a crazy gorilla and I am latched onto the back of it going along for the ride. The image of him and others that think that there is no way I can do something fuels my fire. It gets me out of bed in the morning.

In conclusion, I find that I am best when I surround myself with people who are better than me.  I have found that I will always be the reacher in a relationship not the settler. Why? Because I am in the firm belief that if you surround yourself with people who think that you are great, you will never feel the urge to make yourself better. This is why family is important to you as well, they have no problem telling you like it is because well you are blood and you have to deal with it.

A female just ran across the United States which seems improbable enough except she did the entire thing barefoot. So how are far are you willing to push yourself?

Questions I have for my readers? What fuels your fire? Was this helpful? What are some of your problems that you are encountering? How do you get through them?

Until next time,

BA

Why you should start your New Year’s Resolutions TODAY

Two days ago, I had a conversation with my mother about life. She preceded to tell me how much I have kicked ass this year. For all of my regular readers I have to admit, I took a step back and recounted the stuff I had done this year.

Between my weight loss, my running accomplishments, my drive to get this blog started, to speaking publicly even with fear of my speech – yes I am afraid my good old lisps will come out, getting a new car, getting a new apartment and working for Merrill Lynch.

So I decided I wanted to share with you some secrets that I used.

We all get caught up in the New Year’s resolutions hype and frankly most of us get lost in it. There is no mystery that we often lose sight of our goals before February or March even hits.

What we really need to do is to decide TODAY what we NEED to change and what we WANT to change. The secret sauce once we think about what we want in the next year is to START them as soon as you put your thoughts on paper and in your mind. This will make you driven to achieve. Procrastination is in everyone’s bones especially when it comes to things that you don’t want to do which is why we need to set priorities. By doing so, it will enable us to see what is truly important. The human population often has to wait to hit rock bottom before making changes in their life. Why so? Why not TODAY? When you are thinking of your goals for the year, it will help to go for a run sans iPod in a natural setting – which is usually the best ways I come up with these blogs, that and talking to friends, think of your goals as steps for bigger goals that you want in your life five or ten years from now. When we are able to see progress, the process motivates us even more.

Positive thinking helps as well – when we view a new activity as FUN not aw not again – ex. Diet (positive) will be learning to cook new meals and experiencing new things. Exercising – find a activity that drives you, you will lose weight without even knowing it. Don’t be afraid of trying new things as well, you will never know unless you try. Thanks to Spartan races and Kronum for that, you are truly addicting.

Time is not an excuse anymore I believe. It all comes down to what we want and if we want, we will find ways to achieve. Did you know that the bed exercising you can do is thirty minutes of something with high intensity? Did you know that the most successful people – CEO who have a high demand of their time still find time to exercising. Please do yourself a favor TODAY and get rid of the worst disease you can have which is the excuse disease. 30 minutes of exercise add years to your life and more time with your relationships.

Make positive thinking one of your goals this year. Everyone thinks it is common but it is really not. We riddled ourselves everyday with worries of failure. Let’s put a stop to that TODAY. It helps to read a positive book – self help section has a ton of great books and if you don’t like books- buy an audio cd or watch a positive movie – The pursuit of Happyness is a great one with Will Smith.

Life is hard but ultimately we control the most important things and that is the choices we decide to make. Be aggressive, you have one life to live and you shouldn’t be afraid of losing something. It probably wasn’t meant to be there in the first place. Keep striving to be better everyday then what you were yesterday.

Start your resolutions today not two months from now.

Sincerely from the guy who decided to change his life in October of 2011 from barely able to doing a mile to running a marathon one year later.