Why everyone needs an asshole of a best friend (A humorous approach to Motivation)

Everybody needs an asshole of a best friend that dissects you and then tells it to your face to the point where you want to punch them in their mouth.

It just so happens that I have that best friend, he is 6’7, I should add an inch or two because of his bright carrot top jewfro hair of his but I will play nice this time, he is one of New York’s finest police officers, loves beers and could use some work on his dancing skills –he should never let a deaf guy beat him in a dance-off at a wedding. True story

To this day, we have been best friends for 7 years and 9 months, I would say it was 8 but that kid hated my guts the first semester of college, I still have no idea WHY we are best friends but I can’t thank him enough for being in my life. Here’s why.

My girlfriend of six years broke up with me and I am driving to this kid house which is four hours away to basically spend the weekend drowning myself in beer with him, he tells me no wonder she broke up with you, you are FAT, you are a pathological liar (I have a problem with exaggerating) you have no savings, you have a business that is a failure and you like the wrong kind of internet (insert your own words here, trying to keep it PG-13 here)

Oh, he also told me that I would NEVER be able to date an attractive girl who didn’t have a hearing loss. He also wrote my match.com profile and made sure to tell everyone that yes I was hard of hearing which I was mortified of course. I think he was telling me I needed to step up my game or he was talking to himself trying to figure out why I am friends with this kid.

Since that conversation which was probably the best conversation I have had or ridiculing I should call it, I have been on an absolute rampage. I have lost over fifty pounds, built up some savings, getting used to telling people the truth while trying to stop making myself sound better all of the time to impress people. Sometimes, I NEED to sit back to realize that I am doing pretty well for myself and the people who are not impressed probably shouldn’t be in your life anyways. I am back on the dating scene and it has been very good to know that there are some great girls out there. I started this blog and I am finding new ways to push up my business, I have come to the realization that building a book of business takes time as people don’t trust you overnight anymore. I have come to find that the network I have is very willing to help me.

To this day, I am still trying to figure out why I am that personality type that if people can’t tell me to do something, I automatically try to disprove them. Motivation is a crazy gorilla and I am latched onto the back of it going along for the ride. The image of him and others that think that there is no way I can do something fuels my fire. It gets me out of bed in the morning.

In conclusion, I find that I am best when I surround myself with people who are better than me.  I have found that I will always be the reacher in a relationship not the settler. Why? Because I am in the firm belief that if you surround yourself with people who think that you are great, you will never feel the urge to make yourself better. This is why family is important to you as well, they have no problem telling you like it is because well you are blood and you have to deal with it.

A female just ran across the United States which seems improbable enough except she did the entire thing barefoot. So how are far are you willing to push yourself?

Questions I have for my readers? What fuels your fire? Was this helpful? What are some of your problems that you are encountering? How do you get through them?

Until next time,

BA

Why do I run?

People ask me why do I run? Why do I do the Spartan races? Why do I do the Tough Mudder? Why do I pay upwards of $200 to torture myself for a day?

I do it to relieve the world of hurt I have experienced in the past year.

I do it because it enables me while I am runnig to think that there is nothing wrong with me.

I do it so I don’t do anything else that people do to relieve stress – drugs, sex, or work, eating.

I do it to make myself feel better

I put myself in a class of limited people which makes me feel better. There were only 10,000 people that did a Spartan Race in New Jersey, only one third of the registrants completed the race on Saturday. I was one of them.

I understand there may be more people that are healthier than me but I have achieved more, i have completed more races. I have done what people and friends thought was inpossible. It is like going to Harvard but not starting a business that changes the world.

I do it for change

I do it to make myself get out of my comfort zone, to be different, to not be just disabled but to be like the others that are on the course.

I do it to forget about my disability.

I do it because I get to take my hearing aids out and soak in what my eyes can see. The Spartan Races put you at the top of the mountain and it makes you feel so great knowing that you climbed up that high.

I do it to make myself think once again that there is nothing wrong with me, that everything is going to be okay. Running wipes the slate clean for me. It frees my mind.

I do it so I can get the negative voices or the demons as I call them out of my head for four hours.

I do it so I can find more ways to push myself even further.

I do it to make myself smile, there is not a single picture of me not smiling throughout the race even though I am in substantial pain.

I do it so I can believe in myself again, a couple of years ago I lost my mojo, I lost my happiness, I lost my will to be successful.

I have my mojo back now and I find it unfortunate that other people chose not to use it to make themselves feel better like I have.

People say you must love running and I laugh. I tell them the story that I never ran a mile until college with my freshman roommates. I saw right then and there how badly out of shape I really was. I played college baseball and running was my least favorite part. I played rugby, a game that requires 80 minutes of running and I hated it, I just wanted the ball so I could hit people. Three years after college in 2011, I could barely run a mile and I struggled to get to where I am today as well as where I could be on October 13th when I complete my first marathon. It is not the running that is hard, it is the habit that you have to forced onto yourself after being comfortable or set in your ways. It is the pushing yourself to the limits, it is experiencing that chance of failure and being happy by getting so close to failure but then exerting every last bit of energy that you have to jump over the obstacle at the last minute.

That’s why I run. I run with a purpose, to make myself better, to make myself be myself again and to put myself in the position where it is okay to be hurt again because you are trying.

Bryan Adamson
Motivate2Advance
Bryaneadamson@gmail.com

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Why do we live in a box?

Why does it feel like we live in a box?

“What’s funny is when we act like ourselves and not carbon copies of what others want or expect us to be is when great things happen; Why? It’s because we are happy. Being happy is the most important thing that should matter to you. Somewhere from being a kid to an adult, we lose the true meaning of life; let’s find a way to get it back. “
-Bryan Adamson

After the last pitch of a ballgame was thrown, I had stuck around to watch the fireworks show that was going to happen about twenty minutes after the game. During the wait, the stadium played some good dance music. While I was listening to the music, I saw two children who were probably seven and five to the left of me. The oldest was the boy and the youngest was the sister. What struck me was that they were listening to the music; they started to dance and sing like no one was watching. If you saw the video of Carly Rae “Call me Maybe,” they had it perfectly coordinated!
The reason why watching them struck me because looking around, they were the only ones acting like this, there were no adults acting like them or having the time of their life. I began to wonder on the way home what happened to us as kids from where we are as of now. Why or when did we become so concerned with what others think of us that we eventually become an entirely different person? I kept asking myself why do we live in a box (my boss frequently calls it the sandbox which he tell me to be nice and play inside of) as of today, he questioned me why I was blogging during my PERSONAL time instead of prospecting for business. I guess creativity is not a part of my life description in his words. I never was a big fan of rules (as my teachers would call it, I like to color outside the lines) and I have always questioned the normal, the status quo. I was the one that wanted to be in regular classrooms, I was the one that wanted to wear just the hearing aids not the assistive devices that they wanted me to wear, and I was the one that wanted to take the male teacher in seventh grade, not the other female teacher that had ten years of experience of working with hard of hearing students.
I have a great friend of mine named Tim that clearly lives in his own coloring book and I love it because the conversations we have are legit. He is a strong believer that we need to do more to promote independence among disabled individuals and not have the United States fitting the bills for everyone while expecting them to live beneath poverty. Disabled individuals can’t make more than 5,000 a year or they will lose their benefits that are roughly under $15,000 a year. He also says we would have been perfect for the decades of the 60’s and 70’s. I just think he has been watching too much Grease and Teenage werewolf. The other situation has been my tip toe recently into an online dating website and I have met someone where I am completely myself, I don’t hide anything and she loves it. She does the same. This is completely different from my previous relationship where I always thought I had to be someone else.
​I am writing this article because I want feedback from others and I want to make this a discussion an impact to help ourselves see what we could do to make our true light show. Please feel free to comment below.

• Why do we live in a box?

• Why do we hide our true personalities?

• What causes individuals to want to be popular, not different?

• In school, why were we so afraid of answering a question that the teacher asked?

• When did we become so afraid of living our lives because we feared of what other think of us?
o Are there events that might have happened when we were kids that forced us to live inside the box?

• Why do we not think about how we perceive ourselves more important?

• Why are the best companies (think Google, Apple, Facebook, and others) strive to promote creativity amongst their employees where other companies strive to crush it?

o If the best companies are doing it, shouldn’t we be doing it? Writer’s note: It is most likely due to the fact that the owner doesn’t want relinquish the control of what they worked so hard for, but in doing so, they may limit their growth possibilities.

• Why do we leverage the parenting capabilities of our parents as to why we are living the life that we are living today?
o Why do we use them as excuses?
Writer’s note: Maybe I am biased, so please share your thoughts on this.

• How do we get others to get out of that thinking?

• Can you?

I encouraged you to look at the famous athletes who overcame both of their parents being drug dealers or the person that becomes the first to go to college in the family. There are many CEO’s of companies that came from very poor lifestyles. (I.E. Jay-Z –Brooklyn) Use these individuals as guides, and understand that it is okay to fail. Failing gives us the ability to create ourselves and there is nothing better than living a full life of your own as well as not following the footsteps of others.
I don’t understand where the assumption comes from where people don’t think they can control their lives or make their lives a better situation. We see it in our economy how we are very much living in the old stigma of society as we are still struggling to cope with not being a manufacturing society anymore. I believe us, as a country (Automobile Industry is top of the list) have not gotten out of that era because it USED to be so great. I love teachers, friends with several of them and they are so restricted with how they can teach, they have to teach to the test and I tell you what, those great people of mine, they can change kid’s worlds with their ideas and leaderships if we let them out of the box.

What I want to encourage everyone to do
• Look inside yourself
• Take chances
• What challenges do I have?
• What are my excuses and how do I get rid of them?
• Stop following the status quo to be popular
• Listen to the beat of your own drum
• Think of ways on how you can be different
• Believe that your opinion and your input are important.
• Be willing to share your input with others without fear of being ridiculed
• Start looking rejection in the eye