Failures: Why we need them in our life and how to overcome them

“I get knocked down but I get up again, you’re never gonna keep me down.”

Chumbawumba

I believe that if you are able to look at failures in your life as a positive thing, you will be successful.

Why do we need them?

If they come, they will force change on us. It is up to us to make it a positive change

People often think that being comfortable is what we should strive for in life, it is also the way most of us have been trying to live because of our past generations viewpoint. I believe in the opposite, we need change and we need opportunites to learn about ourselves. Without change, life would be boring. Without failures, you never know what you could reach. Failures are designed for us to push ourselves there, recalibarte and become better because of it. Without it, we will never see how far we can go.

Why are some people afraid to take challenges or risk that could bring about failure? Well for one thing, it hurts and it hurts a lot. People associate the negative feeling twice as powerful as a positive feeling which is why we live in a society where people don’t acknowlege their own small successes as little as they may be.

Thomas Edison Quotes
Show me a thoroughly satisfied man, and I will show you a failure.

What happened to the New Jersey Shoreline and to New York City is a travesty, unimaginable and painful but I have a strong belief that in five years, it will be better than it has even been. People are coming together, everyone is donating and for some odd reason, I think people have learn to appericate the smaller things in life. (Living, electricty, hot showers, gas and spending time with love ones.)

How to overcome them

1.) Acknowledge that it is there, most failures never come to light until you realize them. Others can even tell you but until you realize it, you won’t be able to overcome it.

2.) Immediately set new goals (object is to push yourself)

3.) Don’t hang on it. Don’t associate the negative. See it as a blessing in disguise

4.) Decide how you are become better for it. Decide how you are going to learn from it.

5.) Move forward and never settle for anything less than what you want

6.) The most important thing in life is our legacy, so the question I will leave you to is how are you going to make your mark on the world today?

The things I have failed at have made me the person I am today. Strive to be something, to be somebody. You may never know what you can accomplish. Heart beats talent.

Until next time,

BA

Why you should start your New Year’s Resolutions TODAY

Two days ago, I had a conversation with my mother about life. She preceded to tell me how much I have kicked ass this year. For all of my regular readers I have to admit, I took a step back and recounted the stuff I had done this year.

Between my weight loss, my running accomplishments, my drive to get this blog started, to speaking publicly even with fear of my speech – yes I am afraid my good old lisps will come out, getting a new car, getting a new apartment and working for Merrill Lynch.

So I decided I wanted to share with you some secrets that I used.

We all get caught up in the New Year’s resolutions hype and frankly most of us get lost in it. There is no mystery that we often lose sight of our goals before February or March even hits.

What we really need to do is to decide TODAY what we NEED to change and what we WANT to change. The secret sauce once we think about what we want in the next year is to START them as soon as you put your thoughts on paper and in your mind. This will make you driven to achieve. Procrastination is in everyone’s bones especially when it comes to things that you don’t want to do which is why we need to set priorities. By doing so, it will enable us to see what is truly important. The human population often has to wait to hit rock bottom before making changes in their life. Why so? Why not TODAY? When you are thinking of your goals for the year, it will help to go for a run sans iPod in a natural setting – which is usually the best ways I come up with these blogs, that and talking to friends, think of your goals as steps for bigger goals that you want in your life five or ten years from now. When we are able to see progress, the process motivates us even more.

Positive thinking helps as well – when we view a new activity as FUN not aw not again – ex. Diet (positive) will be learning to cook new meals and experiencing new things. Exercising – find a activity that drives you, you will lose weight without even knowing it. Don’t be afraid of trying new things as well, you will never know unless you try. Thanks to Spartan races and Kronum for that, you are truly addicting.

Time is not an excuse anymore I believe. It all comes down to what we want and if we want, we will find ways to achieve. Did you know that the bed exercising you can do is thirty minutes of something with high intensity? Did you know that the most successful people – CEO who have a high demand of their time still find time to exercising. Please do yourself a favor TODAY and get rid of the worst disease you can have which is the excuse disease. 30 minutes of exercise add years to your life and more time with your relationships.

Make positive thinking one of your goals this year. Everyone thinks it is common but it is really not. We riddled ourselves everyday with worries of failure. Let’s put a stop to that TODAY. It helps to read a positive book – self help section has a ton of great books and if you don’t like books- buy an audio cd or watch a positive movie – The pursuit of Happyness is a great one with Will Smith.

Life is hard but ultimately we control the most important things and that is the choices we decide to make. Be aggressive, you have one life to live and you shouldn’t be afraid of losing something. It probably wasn’t meant to be there in the first place. Keep striving to be better everyday then what you were yesterday.

Start your resolutions today not two months from now.

Sincerely from the guy who decided to change his life in October of 2011 from barely able to doing a mile to running a marathon one year later.

Fat Guy Runs a Marathon Part II

The night before the race, I was really nervous. Thankfully, unlike the Spartan Races, I knew where I had to go. I knew how far I had to run. I also had a goal of doing it under five hours.

We got to Brianne Parent’s house and ate Pizza for dinner. Probably not the best thing to do but whatever I knew I needed a lot of carbs. I was very quiet throughout the night which always seems to be blatant evidence that I am nervous or something is wrong. There was a lot of stress involved with the race and helping Dennis/Bri with their housewarming party added to it. They were under a lot of stress and rightfully so. I felt bad going to sleep around ten for the race but Brianne ordered me to do so and that they would be fine getting the rest of the stuff together.

I awoke around 4:30 hell bent to make this the best day possible and achieve something that a lot of people even myself didn’t think was ever possible. Writer’s note: I am in firm belief now after 27 years of living that you can do anything you want if you put your mind to it. I wasn’t able to get a chance to eat breakfast due to the race being so early and the race was an hour away with evil Long Island Traffic. I got to the venue around 6 am and it was 39 degrees out, this is not the most ideal temp I was hoping for but I am glad it was not in the 80’s. I went to registration and they didn’t have me on the registration, so that stressed me out a little bit. I really just wanted to get there and put myself in a mind-frame of nothingness is the best way to describe it.

As the time towards the race continue to shrink, my stomach became more nervous, my brain began telling me how is the hell are you going to do this sir? The countoff went and we started running. The sun has just begun to rise and we were running towards it. It was amazing seeing the sun hit the water and casting its light onto your face. At mile 5, we passed the clock. Being that it was on a boardwalk at Rockaway beach, we had to do the course mulitple times so there were three times that we passed the clock. At mile 13, I passed the clock at 2:08 which was awesome because that is a really good time and I put myself at pace to get the marathon done at my goal time. At mile 18, I passed the clock again and saw that I was at 3 hours which again I was impressing myself. At mile 20, I have never felt such immense pain in my life but the famous marathon running WALL hit me like a ton of BRICKS. My legs felt like they were trying to get out quick drying cement. My hands became swollen enough that I thought I was becoming a blowfish. I passed away the time laughing at myself that I was going to get to mile 26, 365 yards away from the finish line and just blow up into pieces. I will say that humor has gotten me through an incredible amout of pain through all of my races. At mile 20 was when I had just started to walk/run too. It took me 3 hours to walk/run 8 miles. I was incredibly annoyed at my time but thankful that I was able to basically crawl my way to the finish line. The more I think about it, the more that I agree with it that the entire race is more mental than it is physical and that becomes more evident during the later part of the course. There were numerous points in the race that I wanted to give up but I was able to counteract it by being postive, staying focused and realizing that I was already hurting. It also helped that I didn’t want to go to my best friend house and tell them that I gave up.

I don’t know if more training would have been better or if due to the lack of no crowds, my inexperienece, four water stops (just water and gatorade, no gels, no food, no bars, no bananas) I really will put it into a cumlmation of all of these things but put it squarely on the lack of carbs available at the race.

I am also happy that after I was done the race that I was able to drink beer and lots of it. Also, it was great to have people at the party congratulate me on the race and asked how I was still standing, drinking, socializing, not in a hospital bed and partying. There were also a lot of comments on how good I looked and that was great to hear as well. It makes the journey more pleasant and easier to go through which is important to put yourself around a group of people that are positive towards the actions that you are doing. Pain was not even a word I can describe that I was in during the race or that I am still in while writing this. It hurts to walk, I have the worst chub rub that takes up the entire side of my right thigh that will take at least a week to get back to normal from the race. My skin is sensitive and my eyes are dried from the dehydration still. What is funny is how I used my legs to run the marathon yet my entire body hurts including my neck. I have also got the runner’s retained water factor going on. I weighed myself before the race and I just weighed myself this morning, I have gained 13 pounds. I got so scared, I immediately googled to see what was going on and saw many forums of runners that this has happened to.

I am still overwhelmed with emotions that I was able to do this and I think that next year I will be doing it again at a major city so I can experience the great stuff, the crowds and maybe even used it as a travel excuse.

As far as what is next on my list to accomplish, I am really not sure. I want to do the Ironman TRI next year, I have a lot of work to get started on if I want to do this. I do know that my goal is to lose tweleve pounds before Thanksgiving through crossfit and running sprints-fartlek. I will not be doing any more distance runs until next year.

I will continue to preach this if you will but no matter what happens, if you keep on being positve and keep on working to acheive something, you will achieve it. Heart is greater than talent. Heart is what makes people who they are. Motivate yourself everyday, it is something we need to do.

Until next time,

BA

Fat guy does marathon part I

A year ago with everything falling apart in my life. I stood on the scale at 285 pounds. I didn’t tell anyone my weight, they knew I was big and they told me. They often asked how much I weigh, and I told them 245 pounds. A forty pound difference, not only was I lying to myself but I was lying to those who were important around me including Dennis, Brianne and the one girl who really wanted me to change life around.

How much a difference a year really makes, I lost the girl and it may have been the best thing that may have happened to me because it gave me the rock bottom feeling that I needed to clean my life up. I am writing this blog > 80 lbs lighter depending on the scale and day. I finally have the brashness, the confidence and the mental toughness that I used to have as a kid. It feels like I have been born again I guess you can say.

In two days I will be running my first marathon and I have to tell you, I am extremely nervous as well as excited to put a nail on the journey I set for myself when the girl decided to part ways with me. I almost have no idea if I trained hard enough, or if I am going to beat my time of four and half hours. What matters is BA is back and he is living life to the best he can. I am currently drinking beers whenever I want, exercising because I want to and flirting with any girl possible.

I want to thank my family including Brook for her relationship advice – life moves on and you will be okay, my friends including Dennis for being an asshole because he cares and doesn’t give a shit if he upsets me, Myers for running with me or not running with me, letting me be a member of the hatfield homeless for a couple of months, and for making me do the Tough Mudder with you. A huge shout out to the Spartan Races for giving me the thrill of a lifetime when I do the races and making feel like I can put the whole world on my back after I am done the races.

I will be writing about my journey for the next couple of days so stay tuned besides wouldn’t you want to hear if the technically still obese guy who loves food and drinks beer like water doesn’t die from doing a marathon?

Ironman triathlon 2013, this train is not stopping I am coming for you.

Motivation is something you must find everyday.

Share your story so others have the ability to learn. I share my story to make a difference. I hope this helps. I would love questions from my readers.

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Why do I run?

People ask me why do I run? Why do I do the Spartan races? Why do I do the Tough Mudder? Why do I pay upwards of $200 to torture myself for a day?

I do it to relieve the world of hurt I have experienced in the past year.

I do it because it enables me while I am runnig to think that there is nothing wrong with me.

I do it so I don’t do anything else that people do to relieve stress – drugs, sex, or work, eating.

I do it to make myself feel better

I put myself in a class of limited people which makes me feel better. There were only 10,000 people that did a Spartan Race in New Jersey, only one third of the registrants completed the race on Saturday. I was one of them.

I understand there may be more people that are healthier than me but I have achieved more, i have completed more races. I have done what people and friends thought was inpossible. It is like going to Harvard but not starting a business that changes the world.

I do it for change

I do it to make myself get out of my comfort zone, to be different, to not be just disabled but to be like the others that are on the course.

I do it to forget about my disability.

I do it because I get to take my hearing aids out and soak in what my eyes can see. The Spartan Races put you at the top of the mountain and it makes you feel so great knowing that you climbed up that high.

I do it to make myself think once again that there is nothing wrong with me, that everything is going to be okay. Running wipes the slate clean for me. It frees my mind.

I do it so I can get the negative voices or the demons as I call them out of my head for four hours.

I do it so I can find more ways to push myself even further.

I do it to make myself smile, there is not a single picture of me not smiling throughout the race even though I am in substantial pain.

I do it so I can believe in myself again, a couple of years ago I lost my mojo, I lost my happiness, I lost my will to be successful.

I have my mojo back now and I find it unfortunate that other people chose not to use it to make themselves feel better like I have.

People say you must love running and I laugh. I tell them the story that I never ran a mile until college with my freshman roommates. I saw right then and there how badly out of shape I really was. I played college baseball and running was my least favorite part. I played rugby, a game that requires 80 minutes of running and I hated it, I just wanted the ball so I could hit people. Three years after college in 2011, I could barely run a mile and I struggled to get to where I am today as well as where I could be on October 13th when I complete my first marathon. It is not the running that is hard, it is the habit that you have to forced onto yourself after being comfortable or set in your ways. It is the pushing yourself to the limits, it is experiencing that chance of failure and being happy by getting so close to failure but then exerting every last bit of energy that you have to jump over the obstacle at the last minute.

That’s why I run. I run with a purpose, to make myself better, to make myself be myself again and to put myself in the position where it is okay to be hurt again because you are trying.

Bryan Adamson
Motivate2Advance
Bryaneadamson@gmail.com

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Why do we live in a box?

Why does it feel like we live in a box?

“What’s funny is when we act like ourselves and not carbon copies of what others want or expect us to be is when great things happen; Why? It’s because we are happy. Being happy is the most important thing that should matter to you. Somewhere from being a kid to an adult, we lose the true meaning of life; let’s find a way to get it back. “
-Bryan Adamson

After the last pitch of a ballgame was thrown, I had stuck around to watch the fireworks show that was going to happen about twenty minutes after the game. During the wait, the stadium played some good dance music. While I was listening to the music, I saw two children who were probably seven and five to the left of me. The oldest was the boy and the youngest was the sister. What struck me was that they were listening to the music; they started to dance and sing like no one was watching. If you saw the video of Carly Rae “Call me Maybe,” they had it perfectly coordinated!
The reason why watching them struck me because looking around, they were the only ones acting like this, there were no adults acting like them or having the time of their life. I began to wonder on the way home what happened to us as kids from where we are as of now. Why or when did we become so concerned with what others think of us that we eventually become an entirely different person? I kept asking myself why do we live in a box (my boss frequently calls it the sandbox which he tell me to be nice and play inside of) as of today, he questioned me why I was blogging during my PERSONAL time instead of prospecting for business. I guess creativity is not a part of my life description in his words. I never was a big fan of rules (as my teachers would call it, I like to color outside the lines) and I have always questioned the normal, the status quo. I was the one that wanted to be in regular classrooms, I was the one that wanted to wear just the hearing aids not the assistive devices that they wanted me to wear, and I was the one that wanted to take the male teacher in seventh grade, not the other female teacher that had ten years of experience of working with hard of hearing students.
I have a great friend of mine named Tim that clearly lives in his own coloring book and I love it because the conversations we have are legit. He is a strong believer that we need to do more to promote independence among disabled individuals and not have the United States fitting the bills for everyone while expecting them to live beneath poverty. Disabled individuals can’t make more than 5,000 a year or they will lose their benefits that are roughly under $15,000 a year. He also says we would have been perfect for the decades of the 60’s and 70’s. I just think he has been watching too much Grease and Teenage werewolf. The other situation has been my tip toe recently into an online dating website and I have met someone where I am completely myself, I don’t hide anything and she loves it. She does the same. This is completely different from my previous relationship where I always thought I had to be someone else.
​I am writing this article because I want feedback from others and I want to make this a discussion an impact to help ourselves see what we could do to make our true light show. Please feel free to comment below.

• Why do we live in a box?

• Why do we hide our true personalities?

• What causes individuals to want to be popular, not different?

• In school, why were we so afraid of answering a question that the teacher asked?

• When did we become so afraid of living our lives because we feared of what other think of us?
o Are there events that might have happened when we were kids that forced us to live inside the box?

• Why do we not think about how we perceive ourselves more important?

• Why are the best companies (think Google, Apple, Facebook, and others) strive to promote creativity amongst their employees where other companies strive to crush it?

o If the best companies are doing it, shouldn’t we be doing it? Writer’s note: It is most likely due to the fact that the owner doesn’t want relinquish the control of what they worked so hard for, but in doing so, they may limit their growth possibilities.

• Why do we leverage the parenting capabilities of our parents as to why we are living the life that we are living today?
o Why do we use them as excuses?
Writer’s note: Maybe I am biased, so please share your thoughts on this.

• How do we get others to get out of that thinking?

• Can you?

I encouraged you to look at the famous athletes who overcame both of their parents being drug dealers or the person that becomes the first to go to college in the family. There are many CEO’s of companies that came from very poor lifestyles. (I.E. Jay-Z –Brooklyn) Use these individuals as guides, and understand that it is okay to fail. Failing gives us the ability to create ourselves and there is nothing better than living a full life of your own as well as not following the footsteps of others.
I don’t understand where the assumption comes from where people don’t think they can control their lives or make their lives a better situation. We see it in our economy how we are very much living in the old stigma of society as we are still struggling to cope with not being a manufacturing society anymore. I believe us, as a country (Automobile Industry is top of the list) have not gotten out of that era because it USED to be so great. I love teachers, friends with several of them and they are so restricted with how they can teach, they have to teach to the test and I tell you what, those great people of mine, they can change kid’s worlds with their ideas and leaderships if we let them out of the box.

What I want to encourage everyone to do
• Look inside yourself
• Take chances
• What challenges do I have?
• What are my excuses and how do I get rid of them?
• Stop following the status quo to be popular
• Listen to the beat of your own drum
• Think of ways on how you can be different
• Believe that your opinion and your input are important.
• Be willing to share your input with others without fear of being ridiculed
• Start looking rejection in the eye

Above and Beyond The story on how one business can change the direction of a person’s entire life.

Above and Beyond

The story on how one business can change the direction of a person’s entire life.

 By: Bryan Adamson

     As I was reading the New York Times Newspaper a couple of days ago, I saw an article about a Fortune 500 Female CEO describing a situation where she was face to face with her high school counselor who told her that she would never be more than a receptionist. I decided that my next article was going to describe a business that is more than just a business and without them, I wouldn’t be the successful individual that I am today.

When I was a little boy around the age of five, I started to disobey my mother. Wait, wait, timeout, correction, when I was out of the womb, I started to disobey my mother! While I was growing up and beginning to hold a conversation at the age of two or three, my mother started noticing the difficulty that I was having hearing whenever she talked with my back towards her. Her suspicion was that I had inherited the gene of my father, selective hearing with a minor case of a hearing loss (there is a joke there, you see) 

I was taken to our pediatrician who at the time dismissed that I had hearing loss because his nurses gave me a hearing exam face to face and I passed with flying colors! Not once, but twice! We switched to a great pediatrician named Dr. Sey who became the steady family doctor, some of us not naming names still see him and have not moved on to different doctors. He immediately suggested that we see the fine, talented and educated red headed audiologist who will eventually change my life and my family’s life. 

After sitting down with the audiologist, and doing lots of exams which included sitting in a funky grey box inside the office of a hearing center, she concluded that not only was I hard of hearing but I had 85% loss in both ears. I think you can guess my mom was not relieved that her suspicions were true, but that her life had been turned upside down. (Warning: There have been several people that say she still skates around life on top of her head.) 

Mom had no idea what to do at the current point. She was being pushed and prodded every different way as a mother at that point. My grandmother, on my father’s side of the family recommended that I go to the Philadelphia School for the Deaf, which meant I would have only learned sign language and never be taught how to speak. (Some of my friends are probably wishing that this happened because I never seem to shut up sometimes on issues.) Later in life, we found that some of the kids that went there were several grades behind us. People told my mother that I would never be successful, that I couldn’t go to a real school.

The point of my story is walking into what was a little known business at the time. The business owner Liz took us under the wing, she didn’t just test and fit me with a hearing aid. She took the situation to talk to my mother, to find out what she really wanted for her kid, which was to have no limitations for me. She wanted me to go through life normally with as little of a speed bump. Little did she know, having a hearing impairment was a huge speed bump for me, but through the use of the relationship they developed, they crafted a plan of success for me. Not only that, the business took the entire family under her wing, and enabled us to fly by encouraging us to be our best. Liz always sought to get the best hearing aids on the market to help us succeed in school. Liz was also very helpful in making sure our Individual Education plan through the Philadelphia School District was made to cement our foundation to success. She didn’t have to do any of this, but she CHOSE to. Some businesses try to create as much profit without regards to service and relationships. She didn’t look at us and say “Next!”

Author note: This business now has three offices and continuing to grow immensely. The story above says it all. 

When I was in fourth grade, I was destroyed by the use of a “trainer”, now called a FM system, which is a special device that enables me to hear the teacher. The teacher speaks into a microphone that blocks out background noises. I was against it simply because I didn’t want to wear it. It was restricting me. I felt I looked horrendous wearing this “big box” around my neck! I wish I had a picture to show you! 

In 1997, my parents were tired of our family growing up in a drug-infested neighborhood.  Philadelphia Weekly newspaper ranked the intersection of Kensington Avenue and Somerset Street as the worst drug sale corner in the city. This is also the same neighborhood that the movie Rocky was filmed in, so you can get a sense of how bad it was then and how much worse it did get afterwards. My parents were faced with a major decision, they wanted out, but they didn’t know where to go due to educational issues. The family wanted to move to New Jersey but after talking to our audiologist and school psychologist Pam (another amazing woman) about their conundrum, they advised us against moving to New Jersey. The school district would not be able to support us and our insurance would no longer be able to provide us with our needs. (New Jersey school system is very different in regards to special needs student and without having insurance, we would have to pay for hearing aids, which are expensive. We, as a family get new hearing aids about every three to four years. Sometimes less, due to our excessive use and our athleticism, Hearing aids do not like sweat and often times, we have to carry on without them; I played my entire varsity football career without them or with my old hearing aids. 

Mrs. Liz Patterson (The red headed audiologist) also encouraged my parents to allow me to go to a top program in Philadelphia, which was the magnet program at Northeast High school not Lincoln. Lincoln is a high school that had a special wing for hard of hearing students who at times, were excluded from the main population of the school. Without her helping us make this decision, I never would have went to college where I succeeded there and without college, I wouldn’t be where I am today!

 

In conclusion, Liz went above and beyond her description of an audiologist. She didn’t follow the definition; she used her position as a place where she could create art. She didn’t look at her entrepreneurial business as a way to grow money on trees, she looked at it as what can I do to make a difference. I have noticed that some businesses are striving away from this; they want to get you in and get you out as fast as possible. Especially the larger a company gets. They don’t strive to develop relationships; they don’t strive to create raving fans (too much work apparently) I love small companies, I hope to create one where one day I can create something that will change the world.

I encourage not just all audiologists to read this story but I encourage everyone out there to read this article.

I wish individuals would understand that work is not work, work is an environment where you can make a difference. Work is not how you get paid in monetary terms; work is how you can make yourself internally better. How you live is by helping others live. We experience life so much better by giving more of ourselves than what the other person can give back.

Liz created the ultimate raving fan. Thank you Liz for all that you have done. I hope this shows up in a York College Business class someday.