Why everyone needs an asshole of a best friend (A humorous approach to Motivation)

Everybody needs an asshole of a best friend that dissects you and then tells it to your face to the point where you want to punch them in their mouth.

It just so happens that I have that best friend, he is 6’7, I should add an inch or two because of his bright carrot top jewfro hair of his but I will play nice this time, he is one of New York’s finest police officers, loves beers and could use some work on his dancing skills –he should never let a deaf guy beat him in a dance-off at a wedding. True story

To this day, we have been best friends for 7 years and 9 months, I would say it was 8 but that kid hated my guts the first semester of college, I still have no idea WHY we are best friends but I can’t thank him enough for being in my life. Here’s why.

My girlfriend of six years broke up with me and I am driving to this kid house which is four hours away to basically spend the weekend drowning myself in beer with him, he tells me no wonder she broke up with you, you are FAT, you are a pathological liar (I have a problem with exaggerating) you have no savings, you have a business that is a failure and you like the wrong kind of internet (insert your own words here, trying to keep it PG-13 here)

Oh, he also told me that I would NEVER be able to date an attractive girl who didn’t have a hearing loss. He also wrote my match.com profile and made sure to tell everyone that yes I was hard of hearing which I was mortified of course. I think he was telling me I needed to step up my game or he was talking to himself trying to figure out why I am friends with this kid.

Since that conversation which was probably the best conversation I have had or ridiculing I should call it, I have been on an absolute rampage. I have lost over fifty pounds, built up some savings, getting used to telling people the truth while trying to stop making myself sound better all of the time to impress people. Sometimes, I NEED to sit back to realize that I am doing pretty well for myself and the people who are not impressed probably shouldn’t be in your life anyways. I am back on the dating scene and it has been very good to know that there are some great girls out there. I started this blog and I am finding new ways to push up my business, I have come to the realization that building a book of business takes time as people don’t trust you overnight anymore. I have come to find that the network I have is very willing to help me.

To this day, I am still trying to figure out why I am that personality type that if people can’t tell me to do something, I automatically try to disprove them. Motivation is a crazy gorilla and I am latched onto the back of it going along for the ride. The image of him and others that think that there is no way I can do something fuels my fire. It gets me out of bed in the morning.

In conclusion, I find that I am best when I surround myself with people who are better than me.  I have found that I will always be the reacher in a relationship not the settler. Why? Because I am in the firm belief that if you surround yourself with people who think that you are great, you will never feel the urge to make yourself better. This is why family is important to you as well, they have no problem telling you like it is because well you are blood and you have to deal with it.

A female just ran across the United States which seems improbable enough except she did the entire thing barefoot. So how are far are you willing to push yourself?

Questions I have for my readers? What fuels your fire? Was this helpful? What are some of your problems that you are encountering? How do you get through them?

Until next time,

BA

Failures: Why we need them in our life and how to overcome them

“I get knocked down but I get up again, you’re never gonna keep me down.”

Chumbawumba

I believe that if you are able to look at failures in your life as a positive thing, you will be successful.

Why do we need them?

If they come, they will force change on us. It is up to us to make it a positive change

People often think that being comfortable is what we should strive for in life, it is also the way most of us have been trying to live because of our past generations viewpoint. I believe in the opposite, we need change and we need opportunites to learn about ourselves. Without change, life would be boring. Without failures, you never know what you could reach. Failures are designed for us to push ourselves there, recalibarte and become better because of it. Without it, we will never see how far we can go.

Why are some people afraid to take challenges or risk that could bring about failure? Well for one thing, it hurts and it hurts a lot. People associate the negative feeling twice as powerful as a positive feeling which is why we live in a society where people don’t acknowlege their own small successes as little as they may be.

Thomas Edison Quotes
Show me a thoroughly satisfied man, and I will show you a failure.

What happened to the New Jersey Shoreline and to New York City is a travesty, unimaginable and painful but I have a strong belief that in five years, it will be better than it has even been. People are coming together, everyone is donating and for some odd reason, I think people have learn to appericate the smaller things in life. (Living, electricty, hot showers, gas and spending time with love ones.)

How to overcome them

1.) Acknowledge that it is there, most failures never come to light until you realize them. Others can even tell you but until you realize it, you won’t be able to overcome it.

2.) Immediately set new goals (object is to push yourself)

3.) Don’t hang on it. Don’t associate the negative. See it as a blessing in disguise

4.) Decide how you are become better for it. Decide how you are going to learn from it.

5.) Move forward and never settle for anything less than what you want

6.) The most important thing in life is our legacy, so the question I will leave you to is how are you going to make your mark on the world today?

The things I have failed at have made me the person I am today. Strive to be something, to be somebody. You may never know what you can accomplish. Heart beats talent.

Until next time,

BA

Why you should start your New Year’s Resolutions TODAY

Two days ago, I had a conversation with my mother about life. She preceded to tell me how much I have kicked ass this year. For all of my regular readers I have to admit, I took a step back and recounted the stuff I had done this year.

Between my weight loss, my running accomplishments, my drive to get this blog started, to speaking publicly even with fear of my speech – yes I am afraid my good old lisps will come out, getting a new car, getting a new apartment and working for Merrill Lynch.

So I decided I wanted to share with you some secrets that I used.

We all get caught up in the New Year’s resolutions hype and frankly most of us get lost in it. There is no mystery that we often lose sight of our goals before February or March even hits.

What we really need to do is to decide TODAY what we NEED to change and what we WANT to change. The secret sauce once we think about what we want in the next year is to START them as soon as you put your thoughts on paper and in your mind. This will make you driven to achieve. Procrastination is in everyone’s bones especially when it comes to things that you don’t want to do which is why we need to set priorities. By doing so, it will enable us to see what is truly important. The human population often has to wait to hit rock bottom before making changes in their life. Why so? Why not TODAY? When you are thinking of your goals for the year, it will help to go for a run sans iPod in a natural setting – which is usually the best ways I come up with these blogs, that and talking to friends, think of your goals as steps for bigger goals that you want in your life five or ten years from now. When we are able to see progress, the process motivates us even more.

Positive thinking helps as well – when we view a new activity as FUN not aw not again – ex. Diet (positive) will be learning to cook new meals and experiencing new things. Exercising – find a activity that drives you, you will lose weight without even knowing it. Don’t be afraid of trying new things as well, you will never know unless you try. Thanks to Spartan races and Kronum for that, you are truly addicting.

Time is not an excuse anymore I believe. It all comes down to what we want and if we want, we will find ways to achieve. Did you know that the bed exercising you can do is thirty minutes of something with high intensity? Did you know that the most successful people – CEO who have a high demand of their time still find time to exercising. Please do yourself a favor TODAY and get rid of the worst disease you can have which is the excuse disease. 30 minutes of exercise add years to your life and more time with your relationships.

Make positive thinking one of your goals this year. Everyone thinks it is common but it is really not. We riddled ourselves everyday with worries of failure. Let’s put a stop to that TODAY. It helps to read a positive book – self help section has a ton of great books and if you don’t like books- buy an audio cd or watch a positive movie – The pursuit of Happyness is a great one with Will Smith.

Life is hard but ultimately we control the most important things and that is the choices we decide to make. Be aggressive, you have one life to live and you shouldn’t be afraid of losing something. It probably wasn’t meant to be there in the first place. Keep striving to be better everyday then what you were yesterday.

Start your resolutions today not two months from now.

Sincerely from the guy who decided to change his life in October of 2011 from barely able to doing a mile to running a marathon one year later.