Why do we live in a box?

Why does it feel like we live in a box?

“What’s funny is when we act like ourselves and not carbon copies of what others want or expect us to be is when great things happen; Why? It’s because we are happy. Being happy is the most important thing that should matter to you. Somewhere from being a kid to an adult, we lose the true meaning of life; let’s find a way to get it back. “
-Bryan Adamson

After the last pitch of a ballgame was thrown, I had stuck around to watch the fireworks show that was going to happen about twenty minutes after the game. During the wait, the stadium played some good dance music. While I was listening to the music, I saw two children who were probably seven and five to the left of me. The oldest was the boy and the youngest was the sister. What struck me was that they were listening to the music; they started to dance and sing like no one was watching. If you saw the video of Carly Rae “Call me Maybe,” they had it perfectly coordinated!
The reason why watching them struck me because looking around, they were the only ones acting like this, there were no adults acting like them or having the time of their life. I began to wonder on the way home what happened to us as kids from where we are as of now. Why or when did we become so concerned with what others think of us that we eventually become an entirely different person? I kept asking myself why do we live in a box (my boss frequently calls it the sandbox which he tell me to be nice and play inside of) as of today, he questioned me why I was blogging during my PERSONAL time instead of prospecting for business. I guess creativity is not a part of my life description in his words. I never was a big fan of rules (as my teachers would call it, I like to color outside the lines) and I have always questioned the normal, the status quo. I was the one that wanted to be in regular classrooms, I was the one that wanted to wear just the hearing aids not the assistive devices that they wanted me to wear, and I was the one that wanted to take the male teacher in seventh grade, not the other female teacher that had ten years of experience of working with hard of hearing students.
I have a great friend of mine named Tim that clearly lives in his own coloring book and I love it because the conversations we have are legit. He is a strong believer that we need to do more to promote independence among disabled individuals and not have the United States fitting the bills for everyone while expecting them to live beneath poverty. Disabled individuals can’t make more than 5,000 a year or they will lose their benefits that are roughly under $15,000 a year. He also says we would have been perfect for the decades of the 60’s and 70’s. I just think he has been watching too much Grease and Teenage werewolf. The other situation has been my tip toe recently into an online dating website and I have met someone where I am completely myself, I don’t hide anything and she loves it. She does the same. This is completely different from my previous relationship where I always thought I had to be someone else.
​I am writing this article because I want feedback from others and I want to make this a discussion an impact to help ourselves see what we could do to make our true light show. Please feel free to comment below.

• Why do we live in a box?

• Why do we hide our true personalities?

• What causes individuals to want to be popular, not different?

• In school, why were we so afraid of answering a question that the teacher asked?

• When did we become so afraid of living our lives because we feared of what other think of us?
o Are there events that might have happened when we were kids that forced us to live inside the box?

• Why do we not think about how we perceive ourselves more important?

• Why are the best companies (think Google, Apple, Facebook, and others) strive to promote creativity amongst their employees where other companies strive to crush it?

o If the best companies are doing it, shouldn’t we be doing it? Writer’s note: It is most likely due to the fact that the owner doesn’t want relinquish the control of what they worked so hard for, but in doing so, they may limit their growth possibilities.

• Why do we leverage the parenting capabilities of our parents as to why we are living the life that we are living today?
o Why do we use them as excuses?
Writer’s note: Maybe I am biased, so please share your thoughts on this.

• How do we get others to get out of that thinking?

• Can you?

I encouraged you to look at the famous athletes who overcame both of their parents being drug dealers or the person that becomes the first to go to college in the family. There are many CEO’s of companies that came from very poor lifestyles. (I.E. Jay-Z –Brooklyn) Use these individuals as guides, and understand that it is okay to fail. Failing gives us the ability to create ourselves and there is nothing better than living a full life of your own as well as not following the footsteps of others.
I don’t understand where the assumption comes from where people don’t think they can control their lives or make their lives a better situation. We see it in our economy how we are very much living in the old stigma of society as we are still struggling to cope with not being a manufacturing society anymore. I believe us, as a country (Automobile Industry is top of the list) have not gotten out of that era because it USED to be so great. I love teachers, friends with several of them and they are so restricted with how they can teach, they have to teach to the test and I tell you what, those great people of mine, they can change kid’s worlds with their ideas and leaderships if we let them out of the box.

What I want to encourage everyone to do
• Look inside yourself
• Take chances
• What challenges do I have?
• What are my excuses and how do I get rid of them?
• Stop following the status quo to be popular
• Listen to the beat of your own drum
• Think of ways on how you can be different
• Believe that your opinion and your input are important.
• Be willing to share your input with others without fear of being ridiculed
• Start looking rejection in the eye

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Above and Beyond The story on how one business can change the direction of a person’s entire life.

Above and Beyond

The story on how one business can change the direction of a person’s entire life.

 By: Bryan Adamson

     As I was reading the New York Times Newspaper a couple of days ago, I saw an article about a Fortune 500 Female CEO describing a situation where she was face to face with her high school counselor who told her that she would never be more than a receptionist. I decided that my next article was going to describe a business that is more than just a business and without them, I wouldn’t be the successful individual that I am today.

When I was a little boy around the age of five, I started to disobey my mother. Wait, wait, timeout, correction, when I was out of the womb, I started to disobey my mother! While I was growing up and beginning to hold a conversation at the age of two or three, my mother started noticing the difficulty that I was having hearing whenever she talked with my back towards her. Her suspicion was that I had inherited the gene of my father, selective hearing with a minor case of a hearing loss (there is a joke there, you see) 

I was taken to our pediatrician who at the time dismissed that I had hearing loss because his nurses gave me a hearing exam face to face and I passed with flying colors! Not once, but twice! We switched to a great pediatrician named Dr. Sey who became the steady family doctor, some of us not naming names still see him and have not moved on to different doctors. He immediately suggested that we see the fine, talented and educated red headed audiologist who will eventually change my life and my family’s life. 

After sitting down with the audiologist, and doing lots of exams which included sitting in a funky grey box inside the office of a hearing center, she concluded that not only was I hard of hearing but I had 85% loss in both ears. I think you can guess my mom was not relieved that her suspicions were true, but that her life had been turned upside down. (Warning: There have been several people that say she still skates around life on top of her head.) 

Mom had no idea what to do at the current point. She was being pushed and prodded every different way as a mother at that point. My grandmother, on my father’s side of the family recommended that I go to the Philadelphia School for the Deaf, which meant I would have only learned sign language and never be taught how to speak. (Some of my friends are probably wishing that this happened because I never seem to shut up sometimes on issues.) Later in life, we found that some of the kids that went there were several grades behind us. People told my mother that I would never be successful, that I couldn’t go to a real school.

The point of my story is walking into what was a little known business at the time. The business owner Liz took us under the wing, she didn’t just test and fit me with a hearing aid. She took the situation to talk to my mother, to find out what she really wanted for her kid, which was to have no limitations for me. She wanted me to go through life normally with as little of a speed bump. Little did she know, having a hearing impairment was a huge speed bump for me, but through the use of the relationship they developed, they crafted a plan of success for me. Not only that, the business took the entire family under her wing, and enabled us to fly by encouraging us to be our best. Liz always sought to get the best hearing aids on the market to help us succeed in school. Liz was also very helpful in making sure our Individual Education plan through the Philadelphia School District was made to cement our foundation to success. She didn’t have to do any of this, but she CHOSE to. Some businesses try to create as much profit without regards to service and relationships. She didn’t look at us and say “Next!”

Author note: This business now has three offices and continuing to grow immensely. The story above says it all. 

When I was in fourth grade, I was destroyed by the use of a “trainer”, now called a FM system, which is a special device that enables me to hear the teacher. The teacher speaks into a microphone that blocks out background noises. I was against it simply because I didn’t want to wear it. It was restricting me. I felt I looked horrendous wearing this “big box” around my neck! I wish I had a picture to show you! 

In 1997, my parents were tired of our family growing up in a drug-infested neighborhood.  Philadelphia Weekly newspaper ranked the intersection of Kensington Avenue and Somerset Street as the worst drug sale corner in the city. This is also the same neighborhood that the movie Rocky was filmed in, so you can get a sense of how bad it was then and how much worse it did get afterwards. My parents were faced with a major decision, they wanted out, but they didn’t know where to go due to educational issues. The family wanted to move to New Jersey but after talking to our audiologist and school psychologist Pam (another amazing woman) about their conundrum, they advised us against moving to New Jersey. The school district would not be able to support us and our insurance would no longer be able to provide us with our needs. (New Jersey school system is very different in regards to special needs student and without having insurance, we would have to pay for hearing aids, which are expensive. We, as a family get new hearing aids about every three to four years. Sometimes less, due to our excessive use and our athleticism, Hearing aids do not like sweat and often times, we have to carry on without them; I played my entire varsity football career without them or with my old hearing aids. 

Mrs. Liz Patterson (The red headed audiologist) also encouraged my parents to allow me to go to a top program in Philadelphia, which was the magnet program at Northeast High school not Lincoln. Lincoln is a high school that had a special wing for hard of hearing students who at times, were excluded from the main population of the school. Without her helping us make this decision, I never would have went to college where I succeeded there and without college, I wouldn’t be where I am today!

 

In conclusion, Liz went above and beyond her description of an audiologist. She didn’t follow the definition; she used her position as a place where she could create art. She didn’t look at her entrepreneurial business as a way to grow money on trees, she looked at it as what can I do to make a difference. I have noticed that some businesses are striving away from this; they want to get you in and get you out as fast as possible. Especially the larger a company gets. They don’t strive to develop relationships; they don’t strive to create raving fans (too much work apparently) I love small companies, I hope to create one where one day I can create something that will change the world.

I encourage not just all audiologists to read this story but I encourage everyone out there to read this article.

I wish individuals would understand that work is not work, work is an environment where you can make a difference. Work is not how you get paid in monetary terms; work is how you can make yourself internally better. How you live is by helping others live. We experience life so much better by giving more of ourselves than what the other person can give back.

Liz created the ultimate raving fan. Thank you Liz for all that you have done. I hope this shows up in a York College Business class someday. 

Top Ten Things I want to achieve by 37

Top Ten Things I want to achieve by 37

By: Bryan Adamson Owner of Motivate2Advance

“Your goals need to stretch you, push you to go farther & faster than you ever thought possible.”

-Darren Hardy

“All successful people men and women are big dreamers. They imagine what their future could be, ideal in every respect, and then they work every day toward their distant vision, that goal or purpose.”

– Brian Tracy: is a self-help author and motivational speaker

Thanks to a blog written by Jason Konopinski and to a book I recently read, “What do you want to do before you die?” The book is based on the MTV Show called “The Buried Life.” I originally wrote this essay to talk about things that I want to do before I die but as I was writing this, I realized that all of the things that I describing, to myself and to you, my audience what I would like to do are things I want to accomplish before I am forty. I have always liked setting goals for myself, even the ones that I crashed and burned on. I am still disappointed that my 83 mile per hour fastball and turtle speed didn’t make it to professional baseball but if I didn’t make this my goal at one point in my life, there was probably no chance that I would have even gone to college. Playing college baseball was the sole reason alone as to why I wanted to go and in doing so, the situation completely changed my life. I met wonderful people and experienced awesome life events, even the ones that I don’t remember. My only wish that I would like to make besides you reading this and helping me is that you take the time to write your own list as well. Some of the items on this list are pretty far out there; most of them are certainly attainable if I put my mind to it. I am taking the first step by writing them down and sharing it with you.

Get into a top five MBA school -Harvard is my top choice, you may be asking why I want to attempt to do this? Well, I love to learn and unfortunately even given my slew of accomplishments, I feel that I still don’t get the respect for the success I have created and I am always looking to improve my current self. I think going to Harvard when a lot of people didn’t expect me to go to college would be a great accomplishment in my life.

Change the way management is done -especially on the bigger company scale (Become the first CMO in a company) There is not enough teaching; mentoring and they often have too many other responsibilities like managing their own book of business. Being in the financial advising field, I have seen every young person fail, especially myself. Even though I am with the largest financial service company in the nation and I have good training, I don’t have great training. There should be a CMO – Chief Mentor office, in all companies and they should focus solely upon improving the lives of their cherished co-workers and motivating them to be the best. Athletics teams are the strongest competitors but they still have coaches. We don’t have coaches in the business world and I find that a sad realization. Every manager that is out there today has to work on their own book of business or their own sales.

Become a leading consultant in the field of motivational coaching and management and becoming a coveted speaker in the motivational field. This has to deal with a lot in wanting to inspire others to be great, to be better than the status quo. During my childhood years, my parents and I were told that I won’t be able to go to regular school, I won’t be able to go to college, I won’t be able to work and that I will be staying at my parent’s house for the rest of my life living on Government benefits. There are so many of us that come from bad living environments and are expected to not be successful, to live in the bubble of failure. I want to go around and share my story, to show people that you can do what you want, along as you put your mind to it. Write/publish a book – Sharing my story would be great. I know that by people reading it, it will help change their lives. I also would like to write a self-help, inspirational book with the help of others. My main theme would be how to overcome obstacles we can see and how to overcome obstacles that we can’t see.

Physical goals

For those of you that are my blog readers, you know the story already but for those of you, that are not. After I gave baseball and fully focused on playing rugby, going to school and drinking as much as I could, I became a very unhealthy person. Four years out of college, I stepped on the scale at 250+. I am making the observation that after training all of my life for athletics, I didn’t have any motivation to work out any more. Times have changed and I feel so much better now. Here are my next goals that inspire me every day to work out.

Complete a Marathon, my goal is to do the Rockaway Beach event in November. I still remember the conversation I had with my best friend that there was no way we could ever do a half.

Complete the Spartan race Trifecta in one year – it requires a sprint (3+miles), a super (8+) and a beast (12+) Finish top 100 in a Spartan sprint, I finished this year 2700 out of 7500, I have a long way to go I would like to attempt an Iron Man triathlon (I need crazy ridiculous goals to make me happy in life, this is one of them.) Especially since I have only rode a bike a handful of times in my life and I am not very good at it and also, the swimming part? I don’t swim, I sink. I am sure sharks would find me quite tasty. Cross fit competition Write an article to Men’s Health Management – I want to share my story about my weight loss, appear on cover My dream body is to be 185 lbs with 10-12% body fat. Play a Professional Kronum game

Travel to destinations

I have been up and down the East Coast; even so I haven’t been to everything that I want to see. I would like to go to Myrtle Beach, OBX, and actually enjoy Florida instead of playing baseball the whole time. You may laugh at this but I have only been as far west as Cleveland, OH. Needless to say, I have quite a few places I need to explore in my own country! Disney World is at the top of my list. I am still completely jealous over the fact that my brother went when he was seven years old even though all he did was ride around in tea cups the whole time. We were supposed to go on this trip two years ago but it never happened. New Hampshire with the Maxims – I have been invited twice but was unable to go due to money and the fact that my girlfriend at the time started school Cross Country Trip in an RV visiting baseball stadiums with my best friends Dennis, Fulton, Myers, Zoltowski, Lihotz, and I would like to include my crazy brothers in this trip as well. The more, the merrier so if you want in, let me know. I am going to start planning this bad ass trip soon Cruise with a girlfriend with the Maxims before they have a baby- This has to happen soon. I don’t know what I am going to do without my crazy drinking best friends of a couple when they have a baby, I am certain my life is going to change as well. Fill up my passport, wherever and whenever I would like to take my grandmother to Poland one last time. That lady is getting old and I am not sure if I can handle a certain amount hours with her on the plane but I do want to see her family as well as where she grew up. She talks about her slave labor on the farm all of the time and how we have it easy here. Sky diving – I had dreams since I was six about flying around in my own house, enough said Give a best man speech – I have always wanted to give a speech worthy of tears and laughter at the same time. It would be a privilege to do this for someone.

Financial goals

Be debt free, I know that living in your early twenties and thirties leads to this being very hard to accomplish but I am getting tired of owning money to companies. It would be nice to be financially independent and I am looking forward to those days. I know this is a long string and I am only added to the complexity of it by creating more debt (i.e. house, MBA, second home) Buy a house – (something is both motivating and disturbing to me, I love my uncle’s house – sad thing is most of his kids were old by the time they brought it and I feel they never got the chance to enjoy it. My parent’s house is what scares me, they always seem to have problems, and they always trying to fix it. Buy a beach house

Development goals

I always wanted to send a casting video to Real World (since I was about 17) or the Bachelor, again accomplishing the role of being the first disabled individual on the shows and give me the opportunity to give society a different perspective on the disabled individual. Often times, people are shocked when they first meet me, (Wait, you can talk normally?) I want to get the courage to go to an open mic night and throw a 15 minutes comedic session. I have been working on jokes in the past couple of years and I think my life is pretty funny.

Family Goals

Get Married – I would love to share my life with someone. Call me old school. Kids- This is an extremely touchy subject for me. I know that I am hearing impaired and I know that there is a great chances of my own kids having my disability. But trust me; I don’t want them to have it. I want boys but I know there is a greater chance of them being hearing impaired then having girls. If I have a girl, I will be extremely overprotective and I wouldn’t want to do that to somebody, ha-ha. I want to help my parents by giving them the vacation of their dreams, get them out of their rut, and help them pay their debts off including the ridiculous mortgage they have. I am a little selfish when it comes to this but I don’t want my younger brother Nicholas to go to the marines to be a sniper – something he has talked about since he was in kindergarten. I want him to go to a great college and to have a blast while not worrying about money to spend on stuff that he needs.

Charitable goals

Start up a school, (there are a lot of things that could be improved or changed and I hate especially since I have so many teacher friends that are so miserable when it comes to debates about our education system. I feel I know more about your pain than the average population which seems to do the most complaining because of taxes. “We can change whatever we want out of our education but until we change the accountability of parents to make their kids learn, we will never be better.” Start a non-profit foundation/mentoring program to help disabled kids who are want to be put in regular education and want to make something of themselves.

In conclusion, I hope you found this article motivating and that you want to draw up your own special blueprint for the next ten years. I hope to see you in ten years with everything on here crossed off in red ink because I accomplished them. This list is not set in stone and is not meant to be. I want this list to grow and you have any suggestions that I should add something, please let me know.

Please email your list if you do so at Bryaneadamson@gmail.com

Why College is important and it is not your major By Bryan Adamson, edited by Lauren Boyer

Now I realized just the title alone are enough to roll the eyes and cause some mouths to drop. I feel the necessity of this article deserves to be written after the article about the diminishing college degree that was written by the Wall Street Journal in the Weekend Report of June 23 rd , 2012. We all understand that there are over fifty percent of graduates that are having a hard time finding the job that they want. After graduating by the start of the greatest recession our generation has seen, and being fully employed the past four years. I decided that I needed to share this information with recent graduates and current students. The most important part of your college education will be socializing and partying, learning how to live with people and learning to make your own decisions. This, I find in my view has been the most important piece in my development in life. The first day alone I felt I was turned upside down, spun around and didn’t know where I was going to land. Oh wait, my 6’5 roommate actually did that to me, just kidding. Being away from college takes you away from your comfort zone and require you to adapt to your surroundings. A true story that happened to me, my freshman roommate hated me during the first semester in college and now this guy calls me his best friend after eight years. He would probably still tell you that he hates me a little but beside the point. We both had to adapt and we certainly did it together. I think commuters are at a severe advantage when they graduate because they don’t socialize or meet new people. Commuters also missed out on being forced to live with someone which is so hard to do but you change so much to accommodate the other person. They also miss out on four years of adapting, something that should be a crucial skill to succeed in the workforce. I do agree that commuting is less expensive but I think the extra money is well worth it. College is where you develop your personality; (Believe me, if you got to know me and then met my family, you would have thought I was adopted.) you start thinking about where you want your life to go and start making decisions without your parent’s input. College living immerses you into different points of views from all aspects of life. My advice to graduates of 2012 is to go to college, do all of the activities you want to do on campus and off-campus, enjoy yourself as much as you can, make longtime friends, party and this will be the best part of paying back those darn student loans because you know that your life and personality has compounded positively. No matter where you go, effective communication is the best skill you can have and where else to start practicing then in college with roommates and a red solo cup. Sincerely, York College Graduate of 2008